BYLARM 2010: WALK THIS WAY!
Wyndham Wallace, a veteran of ByLarm returning for his fifth year of Scandinavian musical discovery, is suited, booted and ready to rock…
SHOE ARE YOU?
By the time ByLarm started in Oslo last year, the snow was melting with a vengeance that would make George Bush look like a pacifist. It felt like every step I took landed in a puddle that reached my ankles. My beloved Ben Sherman trainers never stood a chance. They were subjected to brutal torture for three days, from one dawn to the next. They trod every damned street in the centre of Oslo until their seams were splitting, and they leapt countless mounds of disintegrating ice as they rushed from café to seminar to concert to bar and back to my hotel. They were dragged through mud on the floors of dingy venues, they were coated in ketchup at 7 Eleven counters, they were left to steam on the heated floor of my hotel bathroom, and they were roasted by the fires that crackled in the main tent’s outdoor smoking area.
But oh, oh! What stories they would tell! If they weren’t just a pair of shoes they’d thank me for all that trouble. But my shoes weren’t made for talking. Like certain A&R folk, my shoes don’t have ears and eyes. Unlike A&Rs, though, they also lack a mouth. In fact, thanks to ByLarm 2009, my shoes now barely have soles. (I’ll skip further comparisons with A&Rs. I know they’re sensitive folk: I was an A&R once.) There are no regrets, though, no tears goodbye. I don’t want them back. I’ve got new shoes now. I’m ready for ByLarm 2010.
VIRGIN ON THE RIDICULOUS
You never forget your first time, and my introduction to ByLarm was as memorable as any industry convention I’ve visited. It took place in the Northern city of Tromsø, surrounded by mountains that looked down over a twinkling harbour close to which delegates slid and tumbled in their rush to check out the best talent. But ByLarm has never let me down since. It may have grown up and settled down in Oslo, but it’s still the same unpredictable spirit it always was and it’s not even a teenager yet.
Gathered together around you now, in just one single city, is the cream of Scandinavian up-and-coming talent. It won’t all be to your taste, but somehow the various countries that make up this picturesque region of Northern Europe are capable of producing some of the most innovative, entertaining, witty, unhinged and downright splendid acts on this planet. Whether it be indie rock or hip hop, death metal or neo-classical, singer songwriters or indigenous folk revivalists, all musical worlds collide here. So put down your drink, browse through the programme, then get online and check out the ByLarm jukebox. You’re going to find something there like nothing you’ve ever heard.
NAME THAT TUNE
Given that I’m called Wyndham Wallace I’m obviously in no position to judge, but some of the daftest names you’ll ever hear can always be found at ByLarm. Last year’s line up included Under Water Sleeping Society, I Was A Teenage Satan Worshipper and Tommy Tokyo & Starving For My Gravy. This year’s selection maintains that glorious tradition, what with Bjørn Hellfuck, the fabulously named Vinter In Hollywood, the welcome return of Children & Corpse Playing In The Street and of course the unforgettable KAKKMADDAFAKKA. And that’s not to mention The Cumshots, led by the notorious TV host, comedian and author Kristopher Schau. (The man has pedigree, it’s worth mentioning, since he’s also one of the men behind the equally improbably named Hurra Torpedo.)
Don’t be fooled by the names, though. Do you really think Bat For Lashes is any better? How about Lady Gaga? There was a time when people used to laugh at Duran Duran and Pearl Jam, but neither of them did so badly. So get out there no matter what they’re called: go check ‘em out. I’ll see you down the front for Death by Unga Bunga.
TALKING HEADS
But you didn’t come here to snigger at funny names. You came here to do some business. You came here to network and learn a little more about how to survive in this sandblasted industry. So it’s lucky that this year’s seminars and debates offer a line up that’ll make ByLarm the envy of every music conference that exists: Alan McGee, the man who released seminal records by My Bloody Valentine, Jesus & Mary Chain and Primal Scream, and who discovered Oasis – well, you can’t be right all the time – is popping by for a chat. Karl Bartos, whose work with Kraftwerk makes him arguably one of the most influential musicians alive, is here to talk about the development of sound recording. Peter Hook, whose mighty basslines were the DNA that flowed through both Joy Division and New Order, is ready to chat about The Hacienda and of course Manchester, while Kevin Cummins – whose definitive photos of both of those bands, as well as other legendary Manchester acts like The Smiths, Happy Mondays and The Stone Roses – is flying in to talk about his book ‘Looking For The Light Through The Pouring Rain’.
Then there’s Geoff Travis, the man behind Rough Trade Records and therefore an infinite number of life-changing bands, who’s here to talk about his career, while Rolling Stone contributing editor Steve Knopper is in town to discuss the digital revolution. Graphic designer of quite some repute Hjalti Karlsson is also here to discuss his work, and there’s a free screening of cult Depeche Mode fan documentary ‘The Posters Came From The Walls’ directed by Jeremy Deller (a Turner Prize winner) and Nick Abrahams (video promo director par excellence), at least one of whom will be on hand for a Q&A. And those are just the ones that I want to attend. You don’t get this at the Camden Crawl.
SOLE MUSIC
So at times like this you’ve got to count your blessings. You earn a living in one of the most exciting businesses in the world. It might be struggling at the moment but you’d never go back to working in a bar. You work with music, an intangible tangle of notes that still touches your heart every day. And you get to come to ByLarm, held in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. If it’s snowing again you might well ruin your shoes. If you don’t pace yourself you might even ruin your reputation. (You wouldn’t be the first.) But decent shoes are never hard to find. A decent band, on the other hand, is worth going the extra mile for…
*******
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Double The Pleasure:
Duran Duran seem to have set the template when it comes to the names of new bands at this year’s ByLarm. Watch out for:
Twins Twins
Pica Pica
Kira Kira
Denga Denga
LidoLido
Pow Pow
Oh no Ono
Noora Noor
Twice As Nice
Do you know your Supertramp from your Supergrass? Do you know your Killers from The Kills? Take care when perusing this year’s programme. There’s plenty of room for confusion, as this handy aide-memoire highlights:
Razika vs Rakija
Jonathan Johanson vs Johann Johannson
Dunderbeist vs Dunderhonning
Asha Ali vs Negash Ali
Jesse vs Jesse Jones
Manna vs Manheads vs Jabaman
Blood Command vs Purified in Blood
Urban Tunels Kletzmerband vs The Urban Blues Band
(With thanks to Øystein Ronander)
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